UnitedViews

It’s long been apparent that the job of football journalist on a national newspaper is these days limited, at least during the summer months, to checking out the ‘Top Stories’ on NewsNow and regurgitating them as fact the following day.

Confirmation arrived today with The Star picking up the ludicrous story, previously pedalled by 4thegame, that Thierry Henry could be the subject of a bid from United. The problem with these stories is that there is just enough sense in them for you to roll them around in your mind (Along the lines of “I suppose Manchester United could do with a new striker… and I guess that Thierry Henry is actually a striker so, well, maybe… NO! What am I thinking???). Then before you know it your lunch hour has passed and you haven’t even updated your status on facebook.

So I’m going to have a go this game. Who’s the striker we’re least likely to sign? Torres? Van Nistelrooy? Drogba? No, I’ve got it… Adebayor. Why not? If Henry’s on the list then why not Emmanuel too? There is no way that Wenger would sell him to us. No one has even suggested that we might be interested in him and the player probably wouldn’t come even if we were. It’s really really not going to happen.

Picture of Adebayor from Wonker on Flickr

So that’s it. Adebayor to United! A completely unsubstantiated UnitedViews exclusive! You heard this lie here first!!

Mind you, once you start to think about it…