UnitedViews

Had a very pleasant night out on Tuesday.

Not normally the sort of thing that UV reports, I’ll grant you, but bear with me. Having enjoyed the evening and being a man of weighty parental responsibilities, I passed up the offer of ‘one for the road’ with JW and HJD and headed off home, leaving them to their expensive nightcaps at the Charlotte Street Hotel. Half an hour later I get a call from JW to let me know that he’s just had a cosy little chat and a photograph with a celebrity. Guess who? No, not Tessa Sanderson as it turns out but Wayne Rooney.

Wayne Bloody Rooney! To say I was a ‘bit’ disappointed is like saying Stephen Gerrard’s hairline is a ‘bit’ odd. Now I don’t know what JW said to our Wayne but whatever it was was enough to send him into a rage with anyone with a camera!

What Wayne may have looked like to JWPicture from birdbath on Flickr

Anyway, I guess this kind of report goes with the territory for Rooney, which is a great shame. I just pray we don’t get too much of it this year, though. I think this will be a definitive season in Rooney’s United career. Whether Ronaldo can be persuaded to stick around for another season or not, United relied on the Portugeezer’s goals heavily last year and neither his presence nor his commitment can be taken for granted in the future. Wayne, on the other hand, you feel may be with United for life now.

I’m a long-standing defender of Rooney. Many last year were calling for him to be dropped but even when Rooney is having a truly terrible game he still manages to ocupy the attentions of two defenders. Also, like Tevez, with his work rate he raises the game for the rest of the team (yes, I mean you, Rio). I have no doubt as to his value to the club and think he was worth every penny of the £30M he cost us.

However, he should score goals. I know he lead the charts for English players in terms of goals (and assists) last season but he has, in all honesty, not produced what we expected. Thinking back to Portugal 2004 or his debut against Fenerbahçe he was a force of nature in the same way as Tyson or Nadal. He looked unstoppable. He doesn’t look that way any more.

As JW said (although not I suspect to the Wayne) ‘My gripe is that he doesn’t score enough goals — overelaborates, decorates matches with sumptious, defender-outwitting first touch and control, but then can’t provide the finish such skill deserves.’

I just hope that Fergie has a word with Wayne to say, ‘Stop being so bloody selfless. Stop setting Ronaldo up with goals. Stop tracking back to our own 18 yard box (we have Owen to do this for us these days). Just concentrate on blasting that ball at the goal. Feel free to rip the goalies head off with it.’

So come on Wayne. Time to step up. ‘Perfect Moment’ time, as Martine McCutcheon might have said.